Monday, April 27, 2015

Bollywood Cliched. Chapter -1 : Love Triangles

Love triangles in bollywood have always been the hot favorite theme.From Sangam to Deewana to Kuch Kuch Hota hai to Cocktail, it has come a long way.
The seventies,eighties and the nineties had a long period of love triangle cliched.
So if you have a love triangle , there will always be that one person who will be without love. Bollywood then had a pretty easy solution for this complex problem, 'Survival of the fittest and elimination of the unfit' .  "Maa Baap aisa paal pos ke bada kiye ladke ko, ladki nahi mila ? chal mar ja...". So it's not about anything that you had ever wished doing in your life, fine you might have a career, a family, duties...don't care, if you are not the one who completes the couple ....YOU DIE !!!!
There were several ways of doing it:
1. God makes sure that since you will be the one not getting the girl/boy, you will be gifted with Cancer or TB.
2. The villain will make sure that he does not kill somebody out of the couple but he removes third point of the triangle reducing it to  a straight line.
3. In case villain is not that smart and aims to shoot one of the couple, the lonely guy has to make sure that he comes in the way and takes the shot.
4. Suicide.
Just think how much the family of that dead person would curse the couple that end up 'Happily ever after'.
I believe Sangam was one of the earliest love triangles which ended in Rajendra kumar shooting himself with a pistol solving the problem. It's like:
"Yaar ye x ka value nahi nikal raha equation mein...kya karu...ok I can shoot myself "


 Sometimes the couple would pay an amazing tribute to the dead person by naming their child after him. I asked my dad why they named me "Rahul" , he said "Coz your grandmother suggested".
What if he would have said "There was this guy who loved your mother and there was a situation because I loved her too, he shot himself, his name was "Rahul "....period....


There is this movie called Ram -Avatar ,  that takes this cliched to another level totally.
It is an epic tale of friendship between two guys Anil Kapoor and Sunny Deol (yes you guessed their names right, Vikas and Paresh...). But, there is Sridevi who both of them love and Sridevi loves Sunny Deol .  So for friendship Sunny Deol decides "Main raaste se hatt jaunga..." and becomes "The Dark Knight" so that Sridevi hates him and marries Anil Kapoor. Now , technically Sunny Deol must die. But here is where the cliched is taken to the next level when Anil Kapoor drinks poison from a bottle that has poison written on it kept on the shelf . Yes it used to be a part of every household at that time. Now the whole blood stream of Anil Kapoor is poisoned. But since he cannot die, Sunny Deol compensates for the twist. He asks the doctors if they can take "All his blood till the last drop" (yes you read it right !!) and transfuse it to Anil Kapoor. And the doctors are like " Ok, ek ko toh marna hi hai..toh tu hi mar ja.... tere ko toh poori Pakistan army bhi nahi maar paati..toh khud se hi mar ja...".  So Sunny Deol dies and Anil Kapoor lives.

Watch This to believe

I really want to know which doctor in the world will allow one person's blood to be totally transferred to another person making sure that the first person is dead. I mean what would they tell his family or the police, death due to excessive blood transfusion ? Sanjay Leela Bhansali made this whole big film on Euthanasia , I guess Hritik Roshan could have easily gone to this doctor, saving the audience from the trauma called Guzarish.


Of course the concept of love triangle evolved further in the 90s. If producers could afford a guest appearance by a famous actor/actress, the climax will make sure the lonely lover does not die but goes home with this new person . So you made a three hour movie about this person risking everything in his life to achieve  his love of life and in the last few seconds, he gives a damn to it and moves on with the girl he just met, In Your face BITCH !!!! Sometimes that new person is even better than the old one. For example I am pretty sure if Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa had a post end credit scene, SRK would be showing a middle finger to Deepak Tijori , "Abey Ch***ye dekh mere ko toh Juhi Chawla mili...tere paas kya hai Suchitra Krishnamoorti...ROFL...".
Salman Khan anyways never needed a substitute love, be it Saajan, Auzaar or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. He would have been like " Abey main Salman hu, mere ko toh koi bhi mil jayegi...". I believe that's the reason he is still not married.


Now a days, the audience are mature enough, saving the lives of lonely lovers and producers budget on guest appearances. People are now fine with none of the two getting the girl  (Dostana) and to an extent of just everybody dying too (yeah...the next generation audience watch Game of Thrones now so they are ok with death anyways). Perhaps, a love triangle by Anurag Kashyap might just end up in a threesome too, you never know.